#I HATE ALL HIS PERSONALITY IN A POSSITIVE WAY OKAY

[layraket]

just watched The Monkey King

i have lots of thoughs. (rambling on tags)

[jupitermelichios]

On a more possitive note, I’ve started watching Sword Art Online. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and the last film I saw in cinemas was Cats to give you context for the scale i’m working on here) and I kind of adore it in much the same way I love garbage like Smallville or Twilight. It’s so stupid on so many levels. You could challenge someone to write the worst anime, and it would almost certainly be better than SAO. It’s almost hypnotic how terrible it is.

No one should watch this terrible terrible show so I therefore don’t feel at all bad that I’m about the spoil absolutely everything, but honestly if you do also hate-watch this please come talk to me about how terrible it is. I don’t know anyone else who watches it.

Highlights of Season 1 include:

everyone is trapped in an MMO, and if you die in the MMO you die IRL. but if you were a beta-tester you’re probably fine because they just let them keep all their levels and items from the testing, so they’re all massively OP and everyone just accepts this as a normal and non-game-breaking thing

it’s a fantasy MMO but there’s no races, no magic system, no weapons except swords and maces, and not even an option to dual wield - literally all you can do in this fucking game is stand in front of an enemy and mash the attack button. I’m pretty sure they’re trapped there because the devs realised no one would play this post launch-day otherwise because it’s boring as shit

when the villain traps everyone he also just changs all their avatars to look like they do IRL for absolutely no reason, like actually none, he doesn’t even say he thinks it would be funny, he just does it and no one questions it and it is literally never mentioned again because this is the worst TV show ever animated.

in the second episode the main character deliberately witholds information about how to defeat a boss, indirectly causing multiple deaths. there is absolutely no reason for him to withhold it, he was just being a jerk because he doesn’t like people

in the third episode they reset his entire personality and he’s now a selfless hero pretending to be a lower level than he really is so people will find him more relateable and be his friend because all he wants is to help people. this is not a consequence of episode 2, they just decided they didnt like the character as he’d previously been written.

he makes some new friends who are all objectively terrible people who have decided for no season that the twelve year old who doesn’t really know how to play and keeps having anxiety attacks about the very real possibility of death has to be the guild tank. the MC is high enough level to be functionally immortal in like half the levels, but doesn’t tell anyone this he just lets them go on bullying this child

none of his friends survive that episode, in the game or IRL. which is also a christmas epsiode. a child dies in battle because she’s a terrible tank and then a man commits suicide out of guilt, so then the main character murders santa to try and bring them back from the actual dead but it doesn’t work because again, this is a video game and they are dead IRL, so then he walks off into the snow alone. Christmas!

we meet the best character in the entire show in episode 4, Rosalia, who has gone evil and started just straight murdering people because she’s sick of being an attractive adult woman who can’t get a date because she’s surrounded by lolicons who are only interested in the preteen characters (not a joke, that comes up, the show is firmly on the side of the lolicons)

in the same episode we get an extended bra and panty sequence staring an actual fucking child, like canonically this character is maybe 13 at best. this is one of only 2 occaisions when they feel the need to undress a character and it’s the fucking 12 year old, it’s so gross it reads like a parody of itself

literally every single named female character aged over 8 who talks to the MC falls in love with him after like 5 minutes (and in season 2 this includes his actual sister). he shows absolutely no interest in any of them (including his sister, thank god) until...

the main character gets engaged to a girl he only knows from an MMO after a virtual single date (he doesn’t actually win her in a PVP match but only because he looses the match, he 100% canonically tries to win her in a match, which she is apparently fine with). he then doesn’t bother to ask for her real name until the final episode, he just calls her by her screen name

(that’s okay though becuase it turns out that this moron of a love interest used her real name, on a local server, in a game where your character looks like you do IRL, because apparently getting doxxed is her hobby)

they then get in-game married off screen. there’s not even like a still of a wedding photo. nothing. the main character proposes and then the show immediately jumps to the honeymoon, it’s fucking bizarre.

they find a creepy child dressed all in white with no memory alone in the woods a week into their honeymoon who starts calling them mommy and daddy literally seconds after they first meet her, and they don’t suspect anything suss is going on and adopt her

for hilarity bear in mind the main character may only be 15 at this point (he says he’s only just turned 16 in the last epsiode, but his actual birthday is never mentioned), and his virtual wifu is 16, but no one ever questions the marriage or the adoption, even though ‘hey marriage in a video game is as important and meaningful as marriage in real life’ is an actual conversation people have multiple times. also they think the child they adopt is an actual IRL 8 year old who thinks these randos she met in an MMO are her mum and dad and everyone just goes with that like it’s a totally normal thing

a character called ‘Thinker’ agrees to meet an enemy faction leader for peace talks. the “peace talks” take place in a high level dungeon and he is told to come alone with no weapons and no fast travel. he does this. no one ever comments that his name is ironic, and in fact they seem to think that being betrayed and trapped in a dungeon with a boss is a totally unexpected turn of events Thinker could never have planned for

they take their new baby into the dungeon to rescue thinker, because they went to the jean grey school of baby rearing, and she imediately reveals that she’s actually a magical maggufin with infinite power, murders the grim reaper, and then dies. In literally the second episode she’s in

after she dies the MC hacks the admin account of the game, converts her corpse into an in game item, and saves to the local storage on his console, with the intention of bringing her back to life as a robot once they’re saved from the game. I’m not joking, that’s an actual thing that happens.

the fact that the main character can just access the main admin account and make massive game-breaking changes isn’t used again in that game and he never thinks to try and use it to force log people out or give himself infinite life so he can just rush the game and free everyone. nope, convert a corpse into an item and then never think about it again.

there’s an entire episode where all they do is go fishing. its the only filler episode in the season, and it immediately follows the death of a small child. it’s the most tone-deaf beach episode in writing history

it turns out this game, this game where they didn’t bother coding in any difference races, weapons, or any kind of magic system, was intended to have fully sentient AI therapists, because why the fuck not at this point honestly

oh also the game has PVP and you can trick the game into thinking a sleeping player is in PVP with you in order to actually murder a real person without it flagging in-game as a murder making the crime impossible for the real life legal system to investigate even though you just murdered a person. and they expect us to believe this game had actual beta testers. at least cyberpunk wasn’t played on microwaves you connected straight to your brain (also not a joke, the VR consoles canonically work by sending microwave radiation into your brain, no wonder VR never caught on)

the set up for the show is that they have to reach level 100 of a dungeon in order to win. At level 75, the writers got bored and the show just ends.

it turns out the power of love allows you to just break the fucking game and the main villain literally has a line about how ‘love allows you to remove debuffs, huh, we didn’t think to plan for that’ because again, there’s no metaphors in this show, everything is 100% literal including the fact that falling in love with another player means you’re immune to the paralysis status effect

power of love also allows you to very briefly become a poltergeist after being killed, but only for like 2 seconds. again not a joke or a metaphor, main character is killed but then gets to hang around as a ghost for a little bit to enable him to defeat the boss. he also doesn’t die in real life despite that being the entire fucking premise of the show, again because power of love.

the bad guy literally has no plan, he’s just doing shit for the sake of having something to do. His actions directly cause the deaths of more than 4,000 people, and it’s not even in aid of anything. they ask him why he trapped 10,000 people in an MMO and allowed them to slowly die, and he’s just like ‘huh, i forgot i did that, random’ and then just fucking peaces out

the fact that he committed one of the largest mass killings outside of war never really comes up again, as far as we know he doesn’t even go to jail. i think the show actually kind of thinks he’s a good guy, which is a fucking WILD moral stance to take on the deaths of 4000 completely innocent people for absolutely no reason

If this sounds hilari-bad but you don’t want to invest the time to watch a show which is objectively garbage, it has an abridged series which is famously better than the show it’s parodying (i’m dead serious, people have character arcs, the getting married after one date thing is properly addressed, the mc has to deal with PTSD because of all his friends dying in epsidode 3, they don’t immediately follow the death of a child with an extended fishing montage, the villain has an actual plan). It’s mostly actually pretty good, but this is the internet and it’s an abridged series, so while there are a lot fewer yikes moments than most it still has enough that I’m not comfortable recommending it without the caveat. that said I still enjoyed it a lot, although possibly not at much as pointing and laughing at the garbage that is the actual show.

[queenofgotham800]

Freedom and Love

(Roman Sionis x Reader)

Requested by: @oneandonlyizabelle

(A/n): Thank you so much for request. I had much fun, writing this imagine, I hope you will enjoy reading it.💜🍸

Warnings: Gramatical Errors, swearing, death/or at least Injury, kidnapping

Nights in Gotham City were never peacefull. This city was living it's own life like always. Through the day, crime wasn't sleeping and in these hours it was just worse.

You were running through Gotham's dark alleys, turning your head behind, every time that it was possible. You knew you had no chance against him, he was the Dark Knight after all, the protector of Gotham. What would Roman do? This question popped into your mind. Roman Sionis, was your boyfriend, owner of the Black Mask club, which was now too far from your aproach.

The question; What would Roman do?, was not right becouse he wouldn't get into situation like this at all.

Few days ago

You were sitting behind the table in Roman's and your's apartment, since you already moved there.

Roman was sitting by your right side, and Victor was sitting in front of you, at the end of the table.

Victor had complicated relationship with you, same with Roman, it wasn't negative, but weirdly possitive. You could say that he liked you both.

That day, you were having breakfast with them, eating little cupcakes from the plate.

"Boss, we still have no idea, who is that crossbow killer guy," Victor mumbled as he ate cupcake.

"Victor, I told you that you should't talk as you eat." Roman looked nervous and then, he realized what Victor told him and smashed his cup on ground.

"WHAT! I sent few people after him, what happened?" Roman screamed after Victor.

"Roman, babe, I told you that you should't smash those cups," you told, even when you knew that this may don't help to his current situation.

"I don't care about the cups! I need that crossbow guy dead!" Roman turned to you and pointed at the cup. Victor looked on you with the 'we need to calm him down' look, and you sighed.

This crossbow killer, was causing Roman stresses and outbursts of anger. But what wouldn't, right?

You loved Roman despite his flaws and he loved you, even when he sometimes said terrible things, he always apologized.

"Honey, honey, look at me." you came to him, lifting his chin with your finger. Roman stopped shaking and his heavenly blue eyes looked in your (y/c) eyes.

"Breathe slowly, in and out," you whispered and Roman closed his eyes, and breathing exercise calmed him down a bit.

His breathing slowly turned into yours as you ran from the hero of Gotham City. Shit! He was still somewhere behind you.

"Breathe slowly, in and out," sounded your own voice in your head. "Right," you mumbled as you ran around some couple, who were holding their hands and then you dissapeared in another alley.

Roman opened his eyes, calm and then he stood from his chair. "Sorry for that cup, I will buy a new one to you," he mumbled and left. You looked on Victor desperately, who just silently mouthed at you -He needs you, go-

You turned to Roman who was leaving to bedroom and then back on Victor. "Go," he whispered, so Roman couldn't hear him.

You went to look at your boyfriend, who was standing next to window, looking down from it.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked as he turned around to you.

"I have no idea," he mumbled. He had still his pajamas on and you came closer, wrapping your arms around, hugging him.

"Don't worry about that crossbow guy," you whispered as he hugged you back, kissing the top of your head.

"I guess I should go take care about the club," he said heading to elevator.

"Roman, honey?" you stopped him.

"What?" he turned, with raised eyebrows.

"You have still your pajamas on," you smirked and opened the wardrobe, pulling out his favourite suit.

"Oh, right, I forgot," he laughed as you gave him his blue suit.

"I have to go, I have some bussines to do. I will be home probably sometimes around this time tomorrow," you said as he changed his clothes.

"Okay.. Should I sent few my mens with you?" he asked as you caught his shoulders, pulling him closer to you.

"You don't have to," you kissed him.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he broke the kiss.

"I am sure, don't worry," you smiled, "I love you," you said and turned to go out, but Roman caught your arm.

"I love you too," he said and kissed you, "Be safe (y/n)," you smiled and blushed at his words.

"I'll try," you said and left the bedroom.

Behind you felt something down. He was close, and Black Mask club was few miles from this maze. Maze was the first thing that appeared in your mind when you heared Gotham City. Hidden spots all over the city, occupied or not, you had to find one of them and when we are mentioning a maze, that also meant lots of blind paths. End of the line.. Said voice in your head as you stopped running, facing the walls. You were trapped...

As you left the apartment, with two guns in your coat and one knife attached to your belt, you decided to go for this Crossbow killer alone. It was better, you hated teamwork. When you went somewhere by yourself you always informed Roman about it. Not becouse he would hold you back, but just for assuring him that you will return, or in the case that if somebody kiddnapped you, he could send you some help.

Roman had his own bussines, and you had yours. You were strict to your morals, unlike him, who acted always impulsive.

You also prefered to travel mostly by walk. Police station was your first stop. Roman had few cops there, who would hopefully tell you some useful informations.

When you entered, you found officers laying on ground with glitters on the floor. Pink and blue, those two collors were reminding you just one person. Harley Quinn, she was somewhere close. You didn't wanted to meet her right now, doubting she would tell you something what would help you.

The crossbow killer could be anywhere and cops wouldn't tell you right away anyways. So you 'got lost' in archives of criminal records of Gotham City. Of course, all of them weren't here, many of them were destroyed becouse their owners were unhappy with their existence. Few cops had their tables here, they weren't close so you sneaked to their workplace, taking a closer look. There were nametags on it, 'Howard Petterson' and 'Renee Montoya'

You started seraching the tables, hoping that you will find something that would help Roman.

In first table there was nothing, just few notes, diary and photos of dead bodies.

But then, you stopped, looking again onto the photo. There were laying mans on sofa, and you knew them. Roman knew them also. You saw the arrow sticking out of the neck of one corpse. It was familiar to you, the arrow was made in such a precise way, only one man in Gotham could do weapons that precise.

You took the photo with you, heading to the weapon shop, which was open in Gotham 24/7. You knew the owner, who was kind to everyone who came to buy something.

Shop wasn't looking too fancy, windows looked like they weren't cleaned a while and when you opened the doors, they made a terrible noice. Interior of the shop didn't changed, it was exactly like you remembered. Big guns on top of the rusty iron shelves were clean and polished.

"Hello?" old man said from behind counter.

"Hey dad.." you told him as you came closer.

"Long time no see.." he said and frowned, "What happened?" he asked.

"I need to know who did this," you said and took out, from your pocket folded, stolen photo.

Your dad fixed his glasses and looked on it.

"It looks like crossbow killer was in action again," he laughed and gave you back photo.

"Dad, I need to know who is he. That arrow is from your shop, isn't it?" you whispered as you heared opening the doors.

"Who told you, she is he?" he laughed and smiled when he saw girl, dressed in black and purple, entering the shop.

"Oh, hello, i did not expected you to be here so soon,"

he said and she smiled at him, holding the helmet in her hands.

"Hi, as usual please," she came to counter, pulling money from her pocket.

"Of course, wait here," your dad said, going somewhere in back of the shop.

"You looking for somebody?" she asked you, pointing at the photo.

"No, no.. Just checking.." you mumbled, holding your eye contact away from her, slipping the photo back into your pocket.

"Okay then," she smiled. You dad came back with a little box.

"Thanks," she told, opening the box with the little arrows, similiar to the one on the photo.

"Bye," she said and left the shop.

You were just collecting your thoughts at what really happened. She is the crossbow killer!

"Bye dad, I think i have to go.." you mumbled, running to stop the mysterious woman.

"These childrens.." Your dad told himself and shaked his head.

When you walked out of the shop, there was nobody. Not even a trace of the Crossbow lady.

It was getting late, sun started to fall slowly down like your hopes.

It was already dark, with starts above you as you went back to your boyfriend with empty hands.

Maybe it was better that you didn't followed her.

You didn't even knew what you would tell her. You didn't planed to kill her, just to blackmail her or maybe steal the crossbow from her, and now she is gone.

Somebody suddenly crushed into you, as you walked by.

"Hey, mind where you going," you turned to him as he standed there facing you suspiciously. After that you felt somebody's arms wrapping around you, throwing you in the trunk of a car. You tried to scream, but nothing, no one was around to save you.

They threw you out on ground in some old warehouse, which reminded you Roman and Victor, but this warehouse was darker.

"You took her weapons?" one of them said.

"Yes of course, I am not an idiot," said the other one.

There was just two of them, both of them looking like burgulars. They were poor, jugding by choice of clothing.

"What the fuck?" you shouted as one of them kicked you into the back.

"That's for Clary!" they both screamed as they continued with kicking you.

"Who!? Who is Clary?" you asked and they stopped.

"You are (y/n) (y/s), You are dating Roman Sionis, the man who killed my wife," one of them told you, kneeling down to you.

"Sure, look i am sorry about your wife, but that wasn't me, dude," you said.

"That doesn't matter!" he hissed at you, leaning his face closer, which was a big opportunity for you. They took the guns, but they forgot the knife.

You took it from your belt, stabbing the kidnapper into the cheek. The second one was pulling a gun at you.

"Oh, darling, you don't even know how to shoot with that," you smirked, standing up, ready to leave this damn place.

And it was true, he didn't know, but surprise came across your face when you saw big figure, dropping through the ceiling, falling down to kiddnaper.

"Shit.." you mumbled and started running away from the Dark knight himself.

And that is how you got into this situation, standing alone trapped in this corner, you turned to face him.

"You can't take me. I did nothing wrong.." you laughed as you watched him comming closer to you.

"You have nothing against me. I just defended myself there," you shouted at him.

Your shouts were muted by his punch. Then, you lost consciousness.

Then, you woke up, laying in some little cell. It looked familiar. It looked like.. Blackgate..?

"No, no, no.. Shit!" you screamed and kicked to doors.

"Hey! Go away from the doors," cop told you, and you obeyed and stepped back from the door.

"Wait, I need to ask you something," you shouted to officer. He just raised eyebrows, "What do you want?"

"Why... Why am I here? Shouldn't i be judged by court at first?" you asked, you knew you had some criminal background, but you weren't 100% evil.

"Oh, you are not here permanently. We have you, we have also your boyfriend. When he comes to save you, we will get him and then we will move you to another cell," cop laughed and left.

You caught your head, you wanted out, but you hoped that Roman is not comming for you. You didn't wanted be the reason, which is gonna get him behind bars.

Time was passing slower than usual, or not? You didn't know. Cell was small, boring, without the window, without the chance to see what is going on outside.

It was like time stopped and suddenly, you were all alone. You felt tear slowly comming from your eye. You realized that if Roman doesn't come for you, he probably didn't loved you that much as you thought. But if he came, he would be here trapped with you. You hated batman and cops for putting you in this position. Light above your head went out and you were thinking, if you already spent whole day here. No, that wasn't possible, they would give you some food and water. When the light above your head started flickering, you got up from bed.

Somebody broke in.. That was the next thought that popped into your head. Roman? You ran to doors, looking around through the small window. Others inmates started bashing on doors, shouting on the uninvited guest.

When you saw familiar Black mask, you bashed on doors.

"Hey, this is a trap, you have to go!" you screamed at him, as he tilted his head and called, "Zsasz?"

Roman whispered something to Victor, who just smirked waving you through the window.

"Don't worry princess, we got this," said Vic, kissed the window and ran away. Roman gave him an ugly glare, and put down his mask.

"I know, babe, that is why we need to go right now," He said, unlocking the doors. His mout hang open as he opened the doors.

"What?" you asked.

"I know this is not the right time for me to say that, but damn, you look so hot in that prison uniform," Roman said and you rolled your eyes, pushing him forward, away from the cells. Other prisoners didn't stopped kicking into doors and you heared few police officers.

"Sure, look who is talking, I am sure the prison uniform would fit you as well," you smirked as you both ran to the exit.

Outside, you both ran to his Rolls-royce.

"Wait.. Where is Victor?" you stopped and asked.

"He will be back, enter the car my dear, please do it now," Roman said, entering his car.

You sat next to him, watching the back doors entrance open. It was some officer, who was slowly comming closer to the car, and when he opened doors on the driver's spot, you held your breath.

"So, I guess we can go," said the police officer and turned to us. It was Victor in police uniform.

"Victor! Why did you.. Oh wait.. That's a brilliant idea," Roman and Victor smirked as you laughed.

"But how did you.. Where are guys, that were guarding this place?" you asked, while Victor started the car, leaving this horrible place.

"Look out from your window (y/n)," Roman pointed to window, at your left side, showing you the view of cops, who were fighting against Roman's army.

"That's impressive, what about Batman?" you asked and Roman's face went from being confident to being shocked.

"Batman, he is going after you? What have you done?" he asked you, holding your shoulders.

"Nothing, I.. I don't know why is he going after me," you lied and fixed his messy hair.

"Are you sure, he is not after us all?" Victor asked and increased the speed of the car nervously.

"I have no idea, but that could be the reason," you mumbled as Roman hugged you.

"Baby, it was just a day and i missed you so much," Roman moaned into your ear and you smirked.

"I missed you too," you said as he wrapped his gloved hand around your neck, kissing you slowly.

On the way home, nothing bad happened, no Batman, no cops, no kidnappers or crossbow killers. Sun was slowly rising.

"Beep, beep," Victor said as he parked next to Black mask club. "Hey, love birds, wake up!" he shouted. You and Roman, were peacefully sleeping, Roman sitting and you, laying your head on his lap.

As Vic shouted, you both woke up.

Club was closed, and you were glad. This night was so stressful and you both went up to bedroom to get some sleep. After bath and dressing up to pajamas, you both laid on bed, hugging eachother.

"I love you," you smiled and gave him kiss.

"I love you too," he kissed you back and you both felt asleep.

[mageniskala]

SEVENTEEN: Zodiac’s Reading of This Month #1

Merry meet and Namaste...

Hello, welcome back to ACE OF DIAMONDS. Okay, without further talking, i'll share my reading right down below.

04/01/2020 Decks: The Wildwood Tarot and Rider Waite Tarot Topic: Zodiac's reading for this month .

1). S.coups: Leo

Pile: Knight of Pentacles, 7 of Sword, 3 of Wands, Queen of Stones, Page of Stones, 3 of Stones.

This month is busy month for Leo. He got many responsiblities to handle, things to get done. He almost can't handle it, but in the end he fulfills his duties. Leo needs to prioritise his loved ones the most, families, friends, SEVENTEEN, and Carats, instead of paying attention to hate-speeches and negative comments on SNS. Take no shit of what antis said. Haters gonna hate. Leo also has to know that rooting to his creativity is way more important in this matter.

2). Jeonghan: Libra

Pile: 3 of Swords, The Magician, King of Wands, 3 of Arrows, 8 of Arrows, Page of Arrows.

I sense a lot of mind/tought energy. Likely this month will be tough moment of Libra, because there are two 3 of Swords (Arrows) coming out, and it even get worse with 8 of Arrows that associates with strugle. Libra will be strugling from physical (dizziness, cold, low blood-pressure) and mental illness (red: anxiety disorder). In other hand, Libra has The Magicians which means the power within and trick to handle all these chaos. Libra doesn't speak it loud, he keeps it for himself, he tells a lie that 'he's okay'. Good news, he has such a big spirit to get better and better, this big and pure intention will help him get out of the dark place.

3). Joshua and Seungkwan: Capricorn

i). Joshua - The Sun, The High Priestess, The Moon, The Forest Lovers, The Moon on Water, The Guardian

Well, it is interesting. There are two card of The Moon, which tells us about something unsure and confusion, and moment of stillness. So, i can tell that Joshua has big doubt about something. From the card of 'The Forest Lovers', i can see that what he doubts to is the bond, the relationship between him and a person. I also see femine energy, big one. Oh ya, noted it, feminine doesn't have to be a girl or woman, it can be boy or man, because femine isn't gender, it's aspect of energy inside human being. So, i come to a conclusion that the person with feminine energy is Joshua himself. And the other person is with masculine energy, because there is 'The Sun' which is masculine. Joshua needs time to dive deep down to his soul to seek the truth behind his confusion.

ii). Seungkwan - 10 of Pentacles, Judgement, The Moon, The Wheel, The Hooded Man, Page of Bows

Seungkwan misses his home and his family. He misses some memorable moments with them. His feelings up and down, he becomes so sensitive and melancholic. He calls his family with hopes it'll help to release his home-sick. He can't spend much time with them during christmas, becuase he has to work and make his dreams come to manifest. He trys to conceal his feeling from others and act playful, cheerful, and passionate like usual.

4). Jun and Hoshi: Gemini

i). Jun - The Magician, The Hanged Man, Page of Pentacles, 6 of Bows, The Stag, King of Stones.

Jun's skill get blooming. He developes his vocal and dancing skill. This month will be a steppingstone for upgrading his level in this industry. And, i feel by the sixth month he will be bestowed with abundance in the form of projects. In the same time, there will be some toxic comments about him, but he's kinda immune with it, because he always follows the lead of his heart and intuition. By the end of 2020, he will be in the moment of stillness where he worries nothing, doubts nothing. He's fully surrendered himself to Universe/Time to show what will it be in the future.

ii). Hoshi - Page of Swords, The Tower, King of Swords, 6 of Bows, 10 of Bows, King of Bows.

Soon or later Hoshi, our tiger, will face 'The Tower Moment'. It is moment where his life start to change in sudden. Some unexpected events take place in his life. It changes how he thinks and see about life and others. He steps on new path and new journey to live. He will heal his wound (bad experience and memories) from past and relese them, so he can be the new version of Hoshi. He also got many responsibilities to carry on his shoulders. Maybe it will make him exaushted physically and mentally. But, no matter what he promises that will live his life gratefully, happily, and heartfully. And what will he get? Of course, abundance. The results never betray the efforts.

5). Wonwoo: Cancer

Pile: 8 of Wands, Temparance, The High Priestess, 8 of Vessels, The Wood Ward, 2 of Vessels.

OMG, i personally like it, and bit shocked. I sense big feminine energy, it associates with intuition, compassion, and caring and nurturing. Two of Vessels represents attraction, love, relationship, and harmony. And this card is empowered by Temparance, so i'm quite sure that Wonwoo has been balancing the aspect within him; cold-warm, ignore-care. He's no longer the 'tsundere' one, at least around this month. His affection to the one has been spreading until he concerns that could no longer be held back. IDK the one realises Wonwoo's feeling or not, but he's totally aware with Wonwoo's change by seeing him become more caring and soft. But you know, actually loving and caring, soft and warm  hearted are Wonwoo's nature that always there, never not. So, i can say, he doesn't change at all. I guess i know the one, but no, i'm not gonna tell it.

6). Woozi and The8: Scorpio

i). Woozi - The Moon, Knight of Pentacles, Page of Wands, The wheel, 4 of Arrows, 8 of Arrows.

I can feel hoe exausted Woozi is. He has worked hard, now he needs rest and leave his bussiness for awhile. It's good idea if he comunes with nature, either going to see beach or lake. It will heal him if he go somewhere with amount of water. I'm pretty sure he knew it and ready for it. But before going, he needs to get done his works and arrange the schedule.

ii). The8 - 9 of Cups, The Hermit, 4 of Swords, 10 of Stones, Knight of Arrows, Page of Wren.

Just like Woozi, The8 too needs some rest, but i sense that he no needs to go anywhere. What he needs is, to have some times with his mind by himself indoor, it could be either dorm or home. Basically, The8 is man of wide insight, so clearly he will spend time by reading some books that can improve his personality, awareness, and spiritual consiousness. And also, recalling all memories, good memories, about him achieving severel of his dreams and passions.

7). Mingyu: Aries

Pile: 2 of Cups, The Hierophant, Temperance, The Ancestor, The Sun of Life, The Stag.

WOW! It's sweet. Like i said in Wonwoo's reading, Two of Cups (Vessels) is about relationship, love, caring, nurturing, and harmony. And Mingyu's reading, Temperance also came out to be empowerment of Two of Cups. Meaning, the relationship is going balance; loving and caring each other, eventhough both keep it low-key and undercover, they tend to be not so obvious. By this, Mingyu has been going through new journey and new experience of life. He made decision by listening his heart, not what people say. I can see this beautiful love, but when i look deeply into their soul, they are connected by karmic debt. So, this relationship is part of karmic scenario. For Mingyu himself, if he can accept and embrace who he is, he will be awaken spiritually, if not even i myself don't know. Because i only see what i have to see.

8). Dk, Vernon, and Dino: Aquarius

i). DK - 2 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, 4 of Stones, Knight of Bows, Ace of Arrows.

DK will get two offers, which both of them are equally good. He will be so confused which one should he pick. Page of Pentacles is sign that whatever he will pick, it will be new source of money and popurality, which is projects or collaborations. If you DK's stan, please encourage him. DK is pure and innocent person, he really needs protection from others, because i sense an evil eye in the future. Maybe he will get scammed and used just because he's purely good person. He needs someone with very logic and realistic mind to always remind him to be careful.

ii). Vernon - 7 of Swords, 9 of Pentacles, The Devil, 4 of Arrows, 2 of Stones, Page of Stones.

Vernon is about to face new challenge and in this matter he's very newbie. He has no any significant experience with it. So he's very aware and careful doing this. Vernon's nature is abitious, passionate, and competitive. He like challenge and try something new. There are severel difficulties and obstacles. If he can conquer the difficulties and obstacles, he will bloom and show his new charm, of course everyone will be stunned.

iii). Dino - 10 of Swords, King of Cups, The Moon, The Journey, 7 of Bows, 9 of Stones.

Someone is about to pass away. I can't feel who he/she is, i guess it could be one of Dino's relative, and it makes him has to come home to attend the funerial ceremony. I see 13 and 9, i assume it as September, 13th. Deep down, i hope it's not true and not gonna happen. And here, Dino will be overheat, he has pushed himself too hard. His perfectionist sometime ends up like this, but he just enjoys the moment where he can't do anything, because at that time he can see himself so crystal clear and evaluate all that done. Dino likely is gonna have massive emotional turbulance and mood swing, but he's gonna bring them into possitive way. Many romantic songs/raps and sexy dances will be born out of it.

.

Huffttt... it's so exausted. FYI, i spent for about 5 hours to do this reading. So, i really really thank you for coming here and read my readings. Please kindly share to Carat friends or family. Love you!

[peakatseven]

Blank Space is gay af and here’s why

So, first of all, a disclaimer: This isn’t meant to out anyone or to contribute to the ridiculous hate that always surrounds takes like this one regarding Taylor Swift lyrics. We all know 99% of her songs are based on her own real life experiences, that’s the main reason we all fell in love with her music. But she’s a writier, and artist, and good art holds different meanings for everyone. This is my personal take on these lyrics. I will only take into consideration the lyrics of this particular song and the context in which we are put when we listen to the entirety of 1989. No interviews or anything.

I will refer to the person singing the song as “us��, implying this may or may not be aplicable to Taylor Swift herself, but it definitely applies to me.

Okay, lets begin.

So we start the song after WTNY, a song about new begings in a big city where everything is great and bright and love is a real thing that real people actually have. We want to forget the pain of the past and experience this real love thing that was never made avalable to us.

But eventually reality cathes up and we remember that there’s something to hide when it comes to love. We’ve been doing it for so long, puting up a facade comes as second nature.

Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven sin

We meet someone new, or maybe somebody we’ve heard about. Someone who’s been to the same events we have, but we’ve never really talked to them. They seem cool, interesting. We could spend time with them and show them all of the things we’ve been through, what we’ve learned, and what we ask of them.

Saw you there and I thought Oh my God, look at that face You look like my next mistake Now, at first people might just say “okay so this person’s hot and she noticed”. But not me, for some reason, the line “you look like my next mistake” makes it feel like the face of this new person fits a norm. They fit the character we were looking for, the one that’s gonna help us put up the facade.

Love’s a game, want to play? “Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right” That’s the first thing that comes to mind and in both cases it means similar things. A game is something you do for fun, you don’t really pour your everything to it, you just play it and if you’re smart enough, you could win. The same goes for love with us in this song. We’re playing a game, and the person we just met could be a perfect partner cause maybe they want the same thing.

New money, suit and tie I can read you like a magazine Ain't it funny, rumors, lie And I know you heard about me So here we can make the assumption that this new person is a “he”. “New money, suit and tie” refers to him being a rising star or just someone who’se getting closer and closer to our inner circle. And we’ve seen him before, we’ve heard all the roumors about him. He may say they’re not true, but we say the same while the facade to deny our own rumors is on display.

So hey, let's be friends I'm dying to see how this one ends Grab your passport and my hand We’re in the same position, him and us. We could be friends, pretend to date, show everybody we’re dating and be safe. We can do it if we do it together.

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

Not only is this a great one-liner, we’ve done it before. People are always trying to figure out our dating life, judging our partners and what we say about them. But it’s never to judge them, it always comes back to blaming us for anything that goes wrong. Our parters have been seen as douchebags until they were dating us, which automatically made them look like a cute but innocent prey for us.

So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames We’re cool for either. We could fake it untill we’re 80 and die with our lie or we could just do it for a little while.

You can tell me when it's over If the high was worth the pain At the end of the day, he will decide if it was worth it. Remember, we’re the ones proposing the plan to fake-date to put on a show for those who enjoy the gossip.

Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game'Cause we're young and we're reckless We'll take this way too far It'll leave you breathless Or with a nasty scar Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane (Insane) But I've got a blank space baby And I'll write your name 

So the chorus basically explains why he wants to fake-date us. We’ve done it before and our ex’s always end up being the good guy while we’re insane. “I love the players and you love the game” refers to the same kindda game, the one we play for pretend, it’s not the real thing cause it’s just a game. We were looking for a game-partner and you fit the criteria.

Cherry lips, crystal skies I could show you incredible things Stolen kisses, pretty lies You're the king baby I'm your Queen Se here we are, faking it like we mean it. And because we’re almost a professional at this, we teach them how. Still a kiss here and there, hold my hand, mention little details that will charm anyone who’s not in ond the facade, and everything will be fine. We’re dominating this thing!

Find out what you want Be that girl for a month So the whole thing lasted a month until we both started feeling like this was too much.

Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no Screaming, crying, perfect storm We’ve done it before, we know how to deal with the pain of fake-loving someone we barely know and hiding the real, true love we feel behind the scenes. But this is all new to him and it kills him like it’s still killing us.

I can make all the tables turn Rose gardens filled with thorns We sold him the easiest way to escape the mean sidelooks and harrasment that comes with being gay, we told him at the begining that pretending to date us was the best way to fix it. But it’s not working and it’s actually the hardest thing he’s ever had to do and it kills us to know we tricked him into it.

Keep you second guessing like Oh my God, who is she? Now this can be confusing, but stay with me. “Oh my God, who is she?” is not said by him, but by us. He made us realize before that we tricked him into our big facade, we made him play along without actually asking and without painting the whole picture. We manipulated him like countless others have manipulated us before. Is this really the person we want to be? He stood up to us for the sake of him and his lover, something we never dared to do.

I get drunk on jealousy But you'll come back each time you leave It makes us jealous to know he’s braver than us, that he stood up and fought for his love. We want to do that and be free to showcase out real love to the world withought judgement, but we know that’s simply not real. At least it has never been real for us. We know what people do to people like him and like us, and as soon as he realizes it, he’ll try and fake it again and we will be here to help him do so.

'Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream We’ve embrazed that manipulative side of us, cause we know it’s our strongest weapon to defend us from al the harm thrown out way.

Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya So if coming out is what he wants, knowing the possition we’re both in, it will go wrong. He will get hurt and they will break up. It’s gonna be hell, torture if you will, and we know it cause we tried to do that. But coming out afrter so blatently lying about it will hur people even more, inspiring the hardest of hate from them. We’re letting him do it, after all it is his life, but not without a warning.

I don’t necessarily agree with the message at the end, but it’s something i’ve felt before. And it’s kidda true: coming out isn’t pretty for some people, it’s not safe and sometimes hidding is the better option.

I may be wrong, but this interpretation holds way more meaning to me than the “joke’s on you” interpretation that Taylor’s given. Maybe because the latter is about her own life and the first one is about mine, so it holds more meaning to me. But, as i said, good art holds different meanings for everyone. Maybe my interpretation applies to you too.

[hikari-blue-blog1]

The Stigma And The Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder three years ago. I´m almost 18 by now, and believe me when I say I´ve seen and heard things.

I wanted to share it, for those who live the same things I do, and maybe can feel some relief knowing they´re not alone...

My parents got divorced when I was 5 years old.

My mother worked 8-10 hours per day so she left me and my sister, who is four years younger than me, with my abussive grandmother.

I was emotionally and physically abused on a daily basis. It happened more times than I can count, let alone remember.  

I endured all of it alone, since my mother thought it was normal for her mother to treat me (and me alone, because she didn´t treat that way my cousins or my sister) like that, she let it happen. And by “that” I mean hit me, pinch me, pull my hair, call me horrible names, spank me, scare me on purpose, force me to eat, blame me and punish me for things I didn´t do, humilliate me in front of other people, and so on.

My mother thought it was normal to treat and discipline kids like that because she was treated like that too.

My dad didn´t have a saying on the situation because my mom dissmissed his opinion with the argument above, and said that I was being “too dramatic about it” and “a brat”.

My dad was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder after his divorce.

He had a similar background. He was abused both emotionally and physically as a kid, and was depressed since then. He drank, abused of his meds, and had many risky sexual encounters while he was still married with my mother.  

I experienced bullying a lot of times and for a lot of reasons since I was in primary school. That resulted in me becoming really insecure of my body, height, weight, face, skin, hair, etc.

I had high grades all my life until 7th grade, when everything went down and everybody around me started to realize something wasn´t okay about me.

It started to show when I was around 12. It became as insomnia and anxiety.

I had depression, anxiety, abnormal eating and sleeping patterns... I experienced self-destructive behaviours (such as cutting, burning and scratching my own skin, pulling my own hair, banging my head against walls due to frustration and anger, drinking, attempted suicide, engaged in harmful and toxic “romantic” relationships and hid it, etc)

I was misdiagnosed three times before getting an accurate diagnosis of my condition, not to mention the amount of money my parents had to pay, the number of psychiatrists and psychologists we went to looking for help and refused to give it because I was too young and too hard to handle.

Some relatives still joke about my condition. Teachers and friends have done it too. They were supposed to help and support me, but only a few did. They say “Are you in your period again?”, “Did you take your normality pills this morning?”, “Don´t mind her, she´s just borderlining right now”, “She´s an attention whore”, “She´s high or something”, and a lot of “jokes” I have to force myself to ignore, sometimes failing miserably.

I still have scars, both emotional and physical. I am still hurting in a lot of ways, and I suffer because of they way I am treated just because of my diagnosis.

Now, I´m trying to get my life back. To build my confidence, to solve problems wisely, to make good choices, to achieve my goals, to build new friendships and to repair old ones, to learn how to deal with my feelings safely. I´ve worked hard, struggled, and endured many hardships. I´m scarred and I´m still covered in sins and flaws. I still fall, but I´m getting up again and again.

Because I´m still a human being. I just feel things more intensely...

When I hate, I hate too much. When I want something, I want it so bad it aches. When I miss someone, I miss them deeply, and it feels as if a hole was being open in my chest. When I suffer, even over things that seem small to you, I suffer as if I was burning alive. When I care, I care too much. When I try, I try too hard. When I love, I love too much, and too intensely, with a burning passion and burning desire to feel the same love in return... Wanting to feel. And I often find myself afraid of being alone, of being rejected, and I tend to get away in fear. I´m just trying to protect my big and soft heart.

Everytime I feel broken I lost all my will to live, and when in dispair I feel the excruciating urge to make my body feel the same things my mind feels. It´s like that every single time. Whenever I feel sad it´s like my chest was being ripped open and I can´t control it when I cry too hard or too frequently. I´m always in need of reassurance, love, acceptance, validation, attention, entertainment, company. I´m always feeling too much.

It´s terrifying and beautiful at the same time, being this way...

Because when I´m happy, it´s an euphoria I cannot explain. It´s sharp and astonishing and pure. It makes me want to dance and sing and laugh out loud. It feels amazing. And being this sensitive makes me see and appreciate every little detail in and around me.

I notice everytime people smile, when they aren´t comfortable, when their mood changes... I notice it when someone has a new haircut, or likes someone, or likes something. I notice if someone has something to say but is afraid to speak their mind. I notice little fragments of myself in others, and it´s beautiful. I always notice and feel too much.

That´s the best part about it. That whenever I feel something it is pure, hard, immaculated, truthful, and contundent. That´s why I decided to share this piece of myself, because I see how people with Borderline Personality Disorder are often misconceived as emotional vampires, cold-hearted monsters, when in reality we´re just humans. We make mistakes too, but we don´t hurt others on purpose. In fact we´re more likely to hurt ourselves, even without trying.

Yes, we´re still humans. After all, isn´t that what humans do? Feel?

People with Bordeline Personality Disorder tend to have the richest feelings and the richest souls. We know we´re not easy to deal with and we are aware of the difference in the way you perceive things and how we do. But we´re worth it.

We make life more thrilling. We feel everything with a passion is worth contemplating and sharing. We´re extremely, vulnerably, beautifully, perfectly human. We dance with the flames of our wide range of emotions, burning out in a multitude of colors and shades. We feel pain and rage and dispair in almost a poetic way, as well as every possitive emotion you can possibly imagine.

Each one of us is battling. Each one of us has a story behind their scars.

Each one of us is as intense as a thousand suns. That´s what people often ignore and is afraid to find out.

That´s the beauty behind the stigma.

[itsflygtig]

This is gonna be my last answer because we actually are walking around the same tree 😅.

The way you've defended John Walker's actions tell me that you might not experienced what it's like to be on the other end of the power. That your life has not been affected by those who have abused their power.

I don't like when conversations end up with someone making assumptions of another's life. Anyways, the answer to what you said there is: wrong assumption.

In your view--John Walker acts as a person who has always been in a position of power and that translates into how he acts as Captain America.

I feel like you are making it sound bad (not on purpose, of course). I didn't say that because he always had power possitions also wanted to lead as Captain America exactly. What I wanted to say was that every position is associated with specific personal characteristics.

In life for example, someone that works as a superior has specific characteristics that a subordinate doesn't. Those characteristics mark the way you act and think, and I'm not saying that beeing a superior gives you permission to work like if you were some kind of god, even tough some people think so and make bad use of the position.

John Walker always had to act and think as a superior, always had taken decissions, always had lead people in complicated situations, always had dealt with big responsabilities, he learned that, for things to work, it is important to have some kind of order. Walker, as the rest of the civilians from Marvel (PROBABLY), thought that Captain America was some kind of leading figure so he yes tried to apply the way of working he knew. It has nothing to do with always beeing in a possition of power or not.

He doesn't know any other way to be and is given no other direction to act differently. So acts the same as Captain America.

It is not that he doesn't know any other way to act. He obviously know other way to act, and it could crearly be seen at the end of 6th episode, when Val tells him what he has to do (aka wait her call). But yes, no one told him how the Captain America used to act (because no one but Bucky and Sam knew it), so he just acted like he thought a CA would've.

You think he was a mascot.

The govertment used him like a mascot, yes. They gave him the role to have people happy and inspired. They gave him the suit, they told him to put it on and then they did a big presentation with an interview, a lot of people screaming like monkeys, a lot of music, a lot of autograph signature and a lot of shit. Yes, they didn't take Captain America's image seriously. It seemed like he was an idol, and I'm sorry but no.

Remember when he suspended Bucky's therapy?

And I never ever defended this.

You really think it was okay for John Walker to treat Sam and Bucky the way he did because he assumed they would his subordinates?

I swear to God that I don't know what way you mean. What I always saw was a guy (John) trying to work with Bucky and Sam in the way he thought he had to work, and them pussing him away all the time.

Example:

Sam didn't even know the guy and showed disgust from the very beginning. I love you Sam, but that was not okay.

...which he would've understood if he had just asked Sam and Bucky about it.

How could he have asked them about it if they hated him from the very beginning? Why didn't they initially told him in a friendly way, how they worked? Why didn't they told him that Steve was their friend, their family, and not their superior? Why didn't they told him that the way in which they workd isn't like in the military? When you start in a new job, people is supposed to tell you the most important things about the office, about the people, if they go for dinner once per month, I don't know. Things.

John Walker thought Captain America was supposed to be unbeatable-- so he took the super serum. He claimed he wasn't trying to be like Steve Rogers--then he took the super serum...to be what he thought Steve was...... Because he kept getting his ass kicked.

Again, he took the serum because he felt like he was failing everyone (including himself), because he started feeling like a failure, for not beeing as strong as Steve Rogers was. Because he had very low confidence on himself. He didn't want to be Steve Rogers or replace him, he just wanted to be at his level to see that he could carry Captan America's role and do what he was asked to do.

If you abuse your power-- Do people still have to obey you?

He didn't abuse his power.

We probably watched two different shows even though it was the same show.

At least we agree on this one 😂.

Okay, I'll admit it....John Walker was kinda adorable at the end there...

Like...I hated the guy ON SIGHT at first...

But he was kinda cute there at the end when he became U.S Agent. He was so happy. I mean he murdered a guy and went off the deep end after Lemar died-- but he managed to pull himself back.

But in the end-- he was just doing things how he's always done them.

So I guess he really did want to do good---but maybe the Captain America job just wasn't meant for him. We've all been there. Think we can handle something and then it turns out--No. Nope. Can't motherfucking handle it. This is not good for my sanity.

He's probably not that bad a guy. He's just got an ego the size of the moon.

I would totally watch a U.S Agent Series. The dude's a boarderline train wreck. It would be an interesting watch at the very least.

[missjackil]

My Episode 12X19 Opinion

The Future

For being a relatively Cas heavy episode, I do have to say I enjoyed it. I don’t hate Cas, but Im not the biggest fan of him. I feel like the character has been played out, and there really is no new direction to take him.  With that being said, I do think this was a very entertaining and interesting episode. 

One thing I really enjoyed is seeing Sam and Dean’s characters really shine in this episode. In some episodes this season, they have seemed OOC or even lacking character, leaving me, more than once thinking “Whats up with Sam?” and “Whats up with Dean?” in the sense that there have been changes made to their characters. Not all bad, but not all good either. Where Sam has become more confident and assertive, which is a good thing, I felt he had been lacking in his sensative, intellectual side. Dean on the other hand has been softer and maybe a little less gruff, which also isnt a bad thing, but took away from what has always made Dean, Dean, his snark and “give em hell” attitude. But there they were in this episode, and in full swing as well!  Im going to take a moment to gush over Sam if I may (like you didn’t know this was coming) He was just sexy af in his little “research montage” and losing sleep. going over and above the call of duty to find a way to not have to kill Kelly and Luci Jr. This is part of Sam I felt was lacking a little this season, and it was there in full swing in this episode. I literally said out loud “I didnt think I could love Sam more than I did, till just now!” And now for Dean. Not insulting him, remember Im a Sam girl that loves Dean too, but part of what has always been Dean, is how harsh he can be to those he cares about. Other than those emotional run ins with Mom, Dean has lacked that this season. Which is okay, and also not okay. I dont condone a lot of things he has said to Sam or Cas over the seasons, but I can empathize with the frustration he feels that makes him say such things. He laid into Cas, a little childishly, and yet, I appreciated that he later told Cas they were worried about him, and he shouldn’t go dark like that. I have to say though, Cas returning the mix tape, was such a “break up” thing, I nearly gagged through the cheesy-ness of it, but,it was also kind of cute.  I know the writers have been trying to tug the heart strings of the viewers about Cas over the last couple seasons, to show us how he feels useless, that he makes these stupid mistakes all in attempt to do the right thing and help or protect The Winchesters, but I think it’s time for him to go. I dont wish death on him, but hes made far too many stupid mistakes to ever be redeemed as someone who can be considered Divinely smarter than Sam and Dean, like he appeared to be in S4, it’s too the point where all he can really do, is sit down, shut up, heal the guys when theyre injured and be their best bud, which really is no possition for an Angel, and Id like to see him go back to Heaven, be useful there, and maybe even show up once or twice a season to check in. Back to the story now. Didn’t see Dagon dying yet, thought we still had stuff to do with her. Kinda sucks that The Colt was destroyed, but I never really like when things are made too easy for them... I like them to be challenged. I really didnt see “Kelstiel” coming either, but, weirder things have happened. I kinda loved Dean saying “Well hello Beautiful Mind” when he saw all the stuff Sam had been doing, and I also like their new Dean: Well hot damn! Sam: Well hot damn! And how humble and happy they were that Sam figured out a really big problem. That might have been the first time Ive seen Sam humbly-proud of himself :) Im probably alone in this thinking that Luci Jr is a very interesting story, now that the boys are fully in on it. It was boring af when they only spoke of it or Cas talked about it, and Im really stressing/looking forward to the finale and seeing where this goes. It seems likely to carry into next season, and personally, Id really like to see Sam and Dean care for the kid and teach him to be good.  So on a scale from Bloodlines to Swan Song, Im giving this one a 7.5 I definitely didnt mind watching it a 2nd time and its getting me psyched for the season finale!